Mudakiller – Get rid of waste!

All packed and ready to go!!  It seems like it has been sooooo long (too long) without change!  Although, being here for this long has also been a blessing – we’ve learned a lot more about family, about life here, met some increeeeedible friends and kept up some just as incredible relationships, found many business opportunities, learned the language, taken karate and swimming lessons, gained weight….lost weight (and gained some again now on the final day hahaha!), learned about the system, applied for citizenship, learned more and more about history, and much much much more!

We are 8 days away from our 1 year nomadaversary!  And what better way to celebrate than to uproot and take off again!

We will write much more once we have reached our next generation!  We are getting on a bus in 2 hours and will see you again once we are settled in Crete!

Ves

I love honesty.  Like raw…from the heart…true to yourself and others…honesty.  I love it because it forces you to be honest with yourself about your intentions.  And it forces you to be true to others about your intentions.  And most importantly, it’s easy to remember.  I’ve tried to tell white lies many years ago.  I suck. I can’t remember what I did an hour ago on most days, so remembering lies is inefficient, a waste of my life and a waste of my energy.  It’s also a waste of other peoples time to try and decipher lies.

Why do people lie?  My opinion is that it is out of insecurity, fear and the need to be accepted.  Not just accepted by others, but accepted by themselves.  People lie so as not to hurt peoples feelings (supposedly), yet in the long run, their feelings end up being hurt far more by the lie than the truth would have hurt in the first place.

My assessment is that lies are a complete waste of time and life.  How invigorating is it to actually accomplish your goals with TRUTH?  It’s truly incredible!!  Even if it was difficult to tell the truth and express your true heart felt intentions.  The accomplishment of getting the truth across, getting it accepted (or at least understood) and reaching your goal…just wow.  Nothing beats that.  Nothing.  Those ‘athletes’ that use drugs to get further ahead….I bet deep inside, they are not satisfied with themselves because they know it was not the real them that met those goals.  That must feel like crap.  Regardless of the recognition or materialistic outcome of it all.  *They* are not the ones who accomplished that goal.  And that must hurt.

So, in all the years I’ve spent realizing that, even though I don’t (and can’t) lie to others, I still tended to lie to myself.  We’ve worked very hard on ourselves over the last 3 years and I can hear that voice in my head bullshitting me quite blatantly on a daily basis. “Come on!!! Three more scoops of ice cream won’t kill you!”.  It also tries to tell me that people have cruel intentions and wants me to react with anger, etc.  I spend a lot of time telling that voice to shut up.  I’m at the point where I can laugh at it and recognize it almost instantly.

Today, for a split second, the voice came up again.  I recognized it very quickly, calmed myself down and told it to shut up.  In fact, what the voice suggested to me was so rediculous that I almost laughed out loud.

So, trying to figure out the rules around here has been rather interesting.  It’s a whole different set of rules than in North America, yet somehow very similar.  I have sent in papers for my citizenship.  They have not arrived yet.  We were told at the police station, earlier this year, that we have to cross the border and then come back again in order to get a stamp on entry back to Serbia.  This will grant us another 90 days (since there is no visa requirement for here). We have done this once and it went well.  I was hoping the citizenship thing would be completed by this point and we would not have to do it a second time.  Our second 90 period is expiring on December 20.  Even with an extra letter sent to Beograd, and asking them to speed up the process, the citizenship has not arrived (and frankly, I would have been surprised if it had shown up).

So, today, we have rented a car.  We were going to drive down to visit Skopje (350 km away), and toggled back and forth between visiting there or going to the nearest sleepy border crossing to Romania and jump over and back again.  We were slightly nervous that we might not be let back in again.  After jumping back and forth on where we were going to cross, the car rental place made it an easy decision.

They charged us 10 euros more than the last time we rented.  Raising the price during the off season?? REALLY?  And lowered the alloted daily kilometres from 300 to 250.  Um….what?  So when Mike brought the car back home, I called them up with both receipts in my hands.  He explained that they had raised the prices and lowered the kilometres of all the cars.  1.  thanks for telling us and 2. wtf??  We’ve rented from them all summer and had a pretty decent business relationship built up.  So I thought.

So, I hung up and decided we would only go to Romania and not give him an extra 70 euros on kilometres.  He called back and told us he was going to dump the price by 10 euros.  I said ok because at the first price, we can’t go to Skopje.  Then he dumped it another 5 euros.

Interesting.  We decided to just head to the Romanian border.  When we got to the Serbian exit stop, they asked for the ownership, passports, etc.  Check, check, check.  Then they asked for the receipt from the rental.  Gulp!  I’d left it on the table at home beside the phone when I called about the price change.

After a bit of a wait, he looked at me and said “you only came here for the passport stamp?”.  That little voice jumped up in my head yelling NO NO!!!  It told me to say we’re going to visit some town (there’s nothing but farm field for 10′s of kilometres across the border).  Really?  Really voice?  THIS is your advice?  Shut up!!!  You are not only annoying, but also a complete idiot!  And who invited you to this party anyway?  I’ve told you before that I have no use for you, so piss off!  You are not truth and you are not love, so get out of my head!

So, I nearly laughed out loud, but instead I smiled  I told him that yes, we need the stamp.  I explained my citizenship status and our plans for staying for the holidays and going to Greece after the new year.  I told him that everything should arrive by the time we get back in the spring.  I laid out all the cards in my Tarzan-like Serbian…..pausing for help with proper words.  I also told him we are in the process of shipping our car over so we don’t have to worry about this rental thing any more.

He spoke to a few of his buddies higher up.  There were some loud words exchanged in the office.  They came back and told us the car could be stolen and they don’t know that it’s not because we don’t have the receipt.  So, they cannot let us out of the country.  I told him where the receipt is and if he can call the owner.  They said they can’t.  They asked what we were going to do in Romania.  I told them we were going to have lunch or something and then come back.  He told us to have lunch in their town.  I said yes, but we still need the stamp.  He said….no problem about the stamp, but we have better food here  Everyone was smiling and friendly and wonderful!  They stamped us all and sent us on our way via U-turn.

Thank you kind border police!  Now we just need to stop by the police station in town again and we should be good until we head to Greece.  This will be the last time we have to do this, and I’ll be happy once the citizenship papers show up  I do appreciate how awesome everyone was! Thank you thank you!

Ves

Hi all!  I haven’t written in a while.  We have been stationary in Serbia getting a lot of things in order, and it has been most fabulous!  I will summarize it at some point and throw out some detail for everyone.

For now, I’d like to share a post I came across today.  There are many reasons why we are doing what we are doing.  The reasons in this blog post are the main core reasons why we are doing this.  We have been riding along unconsciously far too long.

We did not start this life style living fully conscious of what we were doing and why.  We were pretty conscious, but it didn’t really hit home until we started traveling.  I have already written a blog about all the retired people we had met in the trailer parks through the States.  Most of them had started their trip and life change because one of them had become very ill – heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc.  This illness caused them and their spouses to wake up.  It caused them to face reality and re-consider what is truly important in their lives.  Even in their final years/months, they decided – finally! – to live their lives authentically.

These wonderful people gave me inspiration, strength and deep understanding that what we are doing is very right for us.  Not necessarily the nomadic thing, but waking up and living an honest and authentic life.  Honest with ourselves about what we want.  Honest in not hiding our feelings or walking on egg shells to make others happy (this is NOT our responsibility).  Living, speaking and loving truthfully and *always* keeping in mind what is important: Relationships and Experiences.

That’s IT – that is ALL that is important in this life.  Relationships and Experiences.  Everything else is noise.  I am thankful that we see this now.  Even though we’d missed it for 40 years, I am thankful that it did not take a near death experience to get to this conclusion.

So, here is a wonderful blog post that pretty much nails it.  I’ve copied and pasted below.  If you would like the original link, please click:  here

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

By Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way.

From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.

Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one.

Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.

They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.